Salon.com LOVES Sarah Palin!! Wanna Know Why?

Yes, just call Salon.com Sarah-love.com, because it's become the Palin 24/7 network. And why not? Salon editor Joan Walsh has always known exactly what she wanted, and it's NOT Barack Obama as president.

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Apply for a Job at Salon.com!

Have you ever wanted to write for Salon.com? Well, here's your opportunity. Fill out our fast-track job application, and you're on your way! Who knows, maybe you'll even get your own blog at Salon, and be the next Farhad Manjoo!

(Click the application form to enlarge.)

We're So Bored With S-A-L-O-N: Is Salon Fatigue Real?

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Salon Editor Joan Walsh Comes Clean About Her Support for Hillary Clinton

And that's why I was so vocal, so adoring of everything Hillary said and did, and so unfailingly critical, concern-trolling, and derisive of Obama. Because, after all, I know where my bread is buttered. I had to do what was right for ME!!!

Of course, you all know how I feel about Obama stealing the nomination out from under Hillary Clinton. It may be faddish and fashionable and clever to talk about PUMAs, but disappointed and disillusioned Clinton supporters are a force to be reckoned with -- and you can count me among them.

But, I have been forced to face reality, and, barring any "unforeseen events" -- note that I am NOT bringing up Bobby Kennedy here -- Obama will be nominated officially in just a few weeks.

Which is why I, Joan Walsh, must URGE the Obama campaign to seriously consider Hillary Clinton as his running mate. Why?

Even though she voted to authorize the Iraq War -- and then voted on Kyl-Lieberman to authorize war against Iran -- in her heart, she really isn't a hawk, because she's a woman.

Even though she allowed her surrogates -- including Bill -- to say and do all sorts of things that raise the suspicion of racism -- in her heart, she's really not a racist. How could she discriminate against anyone, really, because after all, she's a woman.

Even though she wouldn't concede for a long time, and kept threatening to take it to the convention, she's not really a megalomaniacal egotist. How could she be? She's a woman? Only men are megalomaniacal egotists (ahem...paging Barack Obama...)

Even though she ran a really awful campaign, let Ickes and Penn run it into the ground, went broke a bunch of times, hired and fired all sorts of people, and let Terry McAuliffe be her spokesman, she's really, in her heart, a wonderful fiscal/strategic/people manager. She just had a run of bad luck...because she's a woman of course.

Even though she didn't get the nomination, it's just not fair, and women deserve more, and so she should at least be VP. It's the least everyone can do, because women are treated so shabbily in politics.

And come on already. She had to stay married to a megalomaniacal egotist cheater for all this time, and be publicly humiliated more times than she can count. It should count for something!

And last but not least, given my unfailing support, shilling, and cheerleading for Hillary from the earliest days of her campaign, I am owed -- and I am owed bigtime. So I expect that if Hillary is the nominee, and the Democrats win, you're looking at the next Communications Director for the office of the Vice President!!!!

Maybe my dream of an office in the West Wing isn't going to come true (not yet, at least -- notice I'm NOT talking about John F. Kennedy here) but the Old Executive Office Building does has its own charm, don't you agree?

Can YOU Predict Joan Walsh' Next Blog Post Title? Vote in Our Poll!!!

Salon readers who participated in our last poll were able to quite amazingly predict what Joan Walsh would do! Now, it's your chance to do it again!!

She's back from vacation, she's given Obama her de rigeur blasting re: FISA, with a hint of Hillary worship. But what's next?

Vote in our poll!

Joan Walsh Hands Out New Anti-Obama, Pro-Hillary, "That's Sexist!" Writing Assignments for Salon Staff

It may be summer, but the living is not easy over at Salon.com. That's right, no rest for the weary, even after grueling primary coverage, because there are ad clicks to generate, and outraged letters to inspire!!

Here's Joan Walsh's latest memo to staff, outlining the top secret story ideas she has planned -- ones that will reflect the new Salon-wide policy of finding anti-Obama, pro-Hillary or "that's sexist!" angles in every story until the Inauguration.

Write Your Own Joan Walsh Salon.com Blog Post-omatic

Salon.com editor Joan Walsh can take a well-deserved vacation.

That's because the "Write Your Own Joan Walsh Salon.com Blog Post-omatic" is here, to take over the important job of writing Joan's blog posts for her!

Try it yourself! You may have a future as Salon's editor too!!

I am very concernedconfusedamazeddisgusted by Barack Obama.

Despite running her incredibleawe-inspiringtotally racist campaign, and having the Democratic nomination hijacked away fromstolen away fromfairly and squarely given to Obama and not her, Hillary still had the graciousness to endorsesort of endorsebarely concede to Obama.

And despite Reverend WrightBittergatehis poor bowling,Samantha Power calling Hillary a monsterall the sexismplaying the reverse race cardMichelle Obama's big mouthFr. Pflegldid I mention Rev. Wright?all the sexism, Obama will be the Democractic nominee in August, unless, of course something happens to him, like Bobby Kennedysome of those ugly rumors are truesomething happens to him (well it COULD!)

Of course, in the meantime, I am subjected to the scorn of the Obama supportersthe Obamaniacsthe Obama boysthe ObamabotsXrandadu Hutman, which pains me greatly. Because I have taken great care to be fairbalancedimpartialfair and balancedfair, balanced and impartial in all my primary coverage.

And I'd like to close by saying that the most important issue, bar none, of the primary is, without a doubt :
sexismsexismsexismHillary should have wonsexismsexismsexismwhether I get my own MSNBC show next year

-- Joan Walsh

Salon.com: All Hillary, All the Time

Hillary may be yesterday's news, but not at Salon.com, where she's front, center, and the topic of nearly every story! Hooray -- Salon is staying on point, no change agenting there, and no pivoting allowed!!!
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Obama Better Apologize to Hillary, Joan Walsh, and White Women, and...

Anne Louise here, editor of Salon: The Parody, with a letter of support for my colleague Joan Walsh, of Salon.com, and her blog post, The other 18 million

Joan Walsh is of COURSE outraged. Her daughter is graduating from high school, and will be leaving her to go to college. She's trying to expand her pundit career, but as she gets ready to turn 50, and without Arianna's TV presence and millions of dollars, it's not going as well as she'd like. And despite everything she's doing to elevate Salon and make it fair and balanced for all, she's facing increasing criticism. HOW UNFAIR!!!

But the cherry on top is that a man has effectively stolen the nomination away from Hillary Clinton -- a smart, capable, educated woman who, just like Joan, has worked hard all her life, raised an accomplished daughter, and faced down years of criticism, only to have her dreams fade away at the prime of her life.

Yes, Obama's hijacking the Democratic nomination is a slap in the face to every woman, but none are more outraged than women like Joan and me: the millions of mid-life and older women, smarter than nearly everyone else, working harder than nearly everyone else, and yet, feeling ourselves invisible, due to unspeakable sexism and obstacles...and all along, getting criticized and attacked instead of rewarded.

Yes, we women are volatile and angry over the sexism Clinton has faced -- and that they face every single day -- and they have every right to be outraged.

Women are the largest Democratic constituency. Winning without support from these women -- these white Democratic women who are understandably feeling angry, insulted, and bitter -- will be impossible for Obama.

But there is a solution. Joan has outlined it, but she didn't make it clear and specific enough. Joan mentioned "a few simple pointers," but she needs to spell it out for Obama and the Obamabot/Obamanaics/Obama Boys.

Obama must apologize.

And he must apologize a lot.

In fact, if he takes Joan's advice, he should plan on apologizing from dawn to dusk, day in and day out, until November. Yes, Barack Obama has a lot of apologizing to do. Here is just a few of the many things Joan Walsh thinks he should apologize for:

• Apologize for being African-American
  
• Apologize for being younger than Hillary Clinton
  
• Apologize for being a good speaker
  
• Apologize for being inspiring
  
• Apologize for speaking out against the war
  
• Apologize for attracting young people
  
• Apologize for attracting intelligent people
  
• Apologize for attracting millions of donors
  
• Apologize for having a Muslim father
  
• Apologize for having a Muslim middle name
  
• Apologize for becoming a Christian as an adult, because we know he only did this for political reasons
  
• Apologize for joining Trinity -- even though it's one of the most popular churches in Chicago -- because we know he only did this for political reasons
  
• Apologize for knowing Reverend Wright, or calling him his pastor
  
• Apologize for previously attending any church where Father Pflegl has spoken
  
• Apologize for not quitting the church sooner
  
• Apologize for quitting the church after saying he wouldn't
  
• Apologize for not denouncing Rev. Wright earlier
  
• Apologize for denouncing Rev. Wright after saying he wouldn't
  
• Apologize for Geraldine Ferraro being demonized, getting her feelings hurt and her reputation trashed
  
• Apologize for making Harriet Christian so unhappy and for being "an inadequate black man"
  
• Apologize for the fact that some black people have supported him solely because he's black
  
• Apologize for the fact that some intellectuals have supported him solely because he's smart and educated
  
• Apologize for the fact that it's his fault that women have lost a chance at having a woman president
  
• Apologize for the fact that it's his fault that middle-aged and older women feel like they are irrelevant
  
• Apologize for the fact that some people supporting him have called some people supporting Hillary racists
  
• Apologize for personally causing an angry white female backlash
  
• Apologize for every sexist attack on Clinton, no matter who perpetrated it
  
• Apologize for every sexist attack on Clinton's white female supporters, no matter who perpetrated it
  
• Apologize for every sexist attack on female journalists, no matter who perpetrated it
  
• Apologize for every sexist attack on bloggers who've occasionally tried to defend Hillary or critique him, no matter who perpetrated it
  
• Apologize for every single reader attack on Joan Walsh
  
• Personally apologize for rufus
  
• Apologize for anyone who thinks that Hillary, Joan Walsh, or any woman is a "washed up old white woman"
  
• Apologize to every woman who has been the subject of "dismissive, derisive references to bitter old white women"
  
• Apologize for quashing the feeling of female pride about Clinton's quest
  
• Apologize for overshadowing the historic nature of Clinton's presidential bid
  
• Apologize for overshadowing Clinton's lackluster stump speeches
  
• Apologize for every incident of sexist disrespect faced by Clinton and her female supporters, including Joan Walsh
  
• Apologize for any denials of such sexist disrespect on the part of himself, his campaign, the media, his supporters, and everyone in America for that matter
  
• Apologize for Chris Matthews
  
• Apologize for Keith Olbermann
  
• Apologize for Jonathan Alter
  
• Apologize for Howard Fineman
  
• Apologize for Ted Kennedy, Jimmy Carter, Oprah, Rahm Emmanuel, and every single prominent public official or celebrity who has supported him or endorsed him, thereby disrespecting Hillary Clinton
  
• Apologize for not speaking out when MSNBC said Hillary was"pimping out" Chelsea
• Apologize for not speaking out when the media questioned whether Hillary's tears were real
  
• Apologize for being pro-choice, thereby backing McCainocratic women into a corner in November
  
• Apologize for being against the war, thereby backing McCainocratic women into a corner in November
  
• Apologize for being in favor of improving the economy, thereby backing McCainocratic women into a corner in November
  
• Apologize for planning to appoint liberal Supreme Court justices, thereby backing McCainocratic women into a corner in November
  

Joan gets it. She knows what it will take for Obama to win. The question is, does Obama?

The Joan Walsh Quiz: How Well Do You Know Joan Walsh's Writing at Salon.com? Take Our Quiz Now

(With kudos to 23/6.com for their Maureen Dowd Reader's Guide idea)

Are you a regular Salon.com reader? Have you religiously followed Salon.com editor Joan Walsh through the twists and turns of her pretzel-like logic as she has dutifully covered the Democratic nomination process for more than a year?

Maybe you think you know Salon's fearless leader, but how well? Joan Walsh's punditry and strategic insights are so heartfelt and deep that you may be missing some of the intricate subtlety of her work.

But fear not! Now you can find out how well you really know Joan's writing by taking our Salon: The Parody "Joan Walsh Quiz."

Sharpen your pencils, and get ready to test your knowledge of one of Hillary's chief media defenders!



1. When did Joan say, regarding the Democratic primary process: "...it's true we don't know how it will end."

a) Summer 2007
b) December 2007
c) February 2008
d) Late May 2008

Answer: d.

2. When Joan starts a sentence: "I chose not to write about..." what happens next?

a) She explains briefly what she is choosing not to write about.
b) She moves on to another topic
c) She touches upon the subject quickly
d) She goes on at length to describe exactly what she chooses not to write about, in great and gory detail, so as to present every single ugly accusation, rumor, innuendo or smear campaign effort

Answer: d. Example: "I chose not to write about...Father Michael Pfleger's reprehensible remarks about Hillary Clinton at Trinity last Sunday..."

3. When Joan leads with the words: "Most would agree..." what does this mean?

a) Polls have been conducted to show that...
b) Research has been done to prove that...
c) Vetted experts have gotten together and established that...
d) Joan is the only person who believes that...

Answer: d

4. True or false: When Joan wants to exaggerate associations with people perceived as negative, she inserts the word "longtime" as often as she can.

Answer: True. Example: "I felt that the ravings of a guest preacher, even one who's a longtime friend and advisor to Obama, just didn't seem as relevant as those of his longtime pastor, Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

5. True or False: Joan Walsh uses rhetorical questions and either/or questions to present negative information.

Answer: True. Examples: (Rhetorical) "Has Trinity changed? Obama doesn't say..."
(Either/or argument) "Either he attended the church for 20 years and knew that gratuitous anti-white rhetoric was accepted there, and didn't care until he was running for president, or his church affiliation was mainly a political one and he wasn't paying much attention."

6. What words does Joan add to the end of an attack sentence, to make it seem like she actually cares and isn't on the attack:

a) "...was horrendous."
b) "...was unconscionable.
c) "...was unacceptable."
d) "...was a little confusing."

Answer: d. Example: "But Obama's decision to leave his church of 20 years just two months after his Philadelphia speech on race, in which he said he wouldn't, was a little confusing."

7. When Hillary Clinton does something absolutely horrendous, how does Joan describe it?

a) "lackluster"
b) "unfortunate"
c) "bad phrasing"
d) All of the above

Answer: d. Examples: "...her lackluster campaign strategy coming into 2008..." "...Clinton's unfortunate reference to Robert F. Kennedy's assassination..."

8. True or False? Joan Walsh wrote: "The world is divided between people who consider Bill and Hillary Clinton monsters, and people who don't."

Answer: True

9. According to Joan Walsh, who is most worried about Democratic unity and the November chance to beat McCain?

a) "Democratic party officials"
b) "Democratic governors"
c) "MSNBC's Keith Olbermann"
d) "staunch Obama supporters"

Answer: d.

10. If Joan starts a sentence "It might seem misguided to focus on..." what comes next?

a) something negative about Obama that Joan wants to focus on
b) something negative about the Obama campaign that Joan wants to focus on
c) something negative about Obama supporters that Joan wants to focus on
d) all of the above

Answer: d.

* * * * * * * *

How well did you do? If you got 10 out of 10, you must be Carol Richards, Steve1us, bernbart, AncientAssyrian, Xrandadu Hutman or Manos!

Only a 1 out of 10? Hey, W.E.S., how are ya? Oh, sorry, we didn't realize it was you, KateTex!

"Well, he COULD get assassinated now, couldn't he?" -- Joan Walsh applauds the courage of Hillary Clinton in speaking an unpopular truth

Oh that Joan Walsh...she's at it again! Don't miss the latest issue of Salon: The Parody, where Joan explains why it's responsible, righteous and courageous for Hillary to stay in the race, just in case her country needs her. (Click the image for the full-size view.)