Did you know that Barack Obama is a Muslim? Yes, their crack political reporters and bloggers have broken the story, based on research they did at blogs from Fox News, Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter and Little Green Footballs. (Oh, and in other breaking news reported by Salon, Obama DID go to a madrassa, and he wants to subjugate white people.) Read it all in today's headlines at Salon! (Click below to enlarge)
Have you ever wanted to write for Salon.com? Well, here's your opportunity. Fill out our fast-track job application, and you're on your way! Who knows, maybe you'll even get your own blog at Salon, and be the next Farhad Manjoo!
(Click the application form to enlarge.)
And that's why I was so vocal, so adoring of everything Hillary said and did, and so unfailingly critical, concern-trolling, and derisive of Obama. Because, after all, I know where my bread is buttered. I had to do what was right for ME!!!
Of course, you all know how I feel about Obama stealing the nomination out from under Hillary Clinton. It may be faddish and fashionable and clever to talk about PUMAs, but disappointed and disillusioned Clinton supporters are a force to be reckoned with -- and you can count me among them.
But, I have been forced to face reality, and, barring any "unforeseen events" -- note that I am NOT bringing up Bobby Kennedy here -- Obama will be nominated officially in just a few weeks.
Which is why I, Joan Walsh, must URGE the Obama campaign to seriously consider Hillary Clinton as his running mate. Why?
Even though she voted to authorize the Iraq War -- and then voted on Kyl-Lieberman to authorize war against Iran -- in her heart, she really isn't a hawk, because she's a woman.
Even though she allowed her surrogates -- including Bill -- to say and do all sorts of things that raise the suspicion of racism -- in her heart, she's really not a racist. How could she discriminate against anyone, really, because after all, she's a woman.
Even though she wouldn't concede for a long time, and kept threatening to take it to the convention, she's not really a megalomaniacal egotist. How could she be? She's a woman? Only men are megalomaniacal egotists (ahem...paging Barack Obama...)
Even though she ran a really awful campaign, let Ickes and Penn run it into the ground, went broke a bunch of times, hired and fired all sorts of people, and let Terry McAuliffe be her spokesman, she's really, in her heart, a wonderful fiscal/strategic/people manager. She just had a run of bad luck...because she's a woman of course.
Even though she didn't get the nomination, it's just not fair, and women deserve more, and so she should at least be VP. It's the least everyone can do, because women are treated so shabbily in politics.
And come on already. She had to stay married to a megalomaniacal egotist cheater for all this time, and be publicly humiliated more times than she can count. It should count for something!
And last but not least, given my unfailing support, shilling, and cheerleading for Hillary from the earliest days of her campaign, I am owed -- and I am owed bigtime. So I expect that if Hillary is the nominee, and the Democrats win, you're looking at the next Communications Director for the office of the Vice President!!!!
Maybe my dream of an office in the West Wing isn't going to come true (not yet, at least -- notice I'm NOT talking about John F. Kennedy here) but the Old Executive Office Building does has its own charm, don't you agree?
Obama may be on the road to the Middle East, but here at home, all eyes are focused on Pressplane-gate, the heinous Obama campaign's deliberate snubbing of the New Yorker, and refusal to choose the magazine to get one of the 40 seats on the press plane being allocated to 200 media requesting seats. Such outrage! Seething fury is ensuing. And did we mention outrage??!! And your fair, impartial and unbiased political pundit, Salon.com's Joan Walsh, is on the case!!! (Click to enlarge image)
Seriously, isn't satire ALWAYS hilarious to the cognoscenti!??
