Thursday, April 24, 2008

Joan Walsh looks past Pennsylvania, and back at her own navel


Over at Salon, Joan Walsh seems to have returned to her normal self, with today's blog post, "Obama needs to get off his pedestal."

This is what Joan Walsh wrote. But here's what we suspect Joan really meant to say...

As I continue to think about the lessons of the Pennsylvania primary, and their relevance to me, my life, my career, and my own interests, I was tired (after all, it takes a great deal of energy to be a TV pundit, and to crank out blog post after blog post of love letters to my girl Hillary!), a little bit cranky (I know, most would agree I'm always cranky, but that's why you all love me, because I'm just like Hillary: cranky, smart and never willing to back down--even if I'm wrong!), but I had an epiphany about the race between Clinton and Obama, and believe me, when I have an epiphany, it's worth writing about, and even more worth it for you to read!

I have a child headed to college next year, and Hillary said she'd do away with FAFSA, the Free Application for Federal Student Aid! Everyone hates FAFSA! She doesn't want me to take money out of my house to pay for college, either. This is the kind of hope I need. This is the kind of political promise I want. So, most would agree, not only is there a good chance I might get myself a job in the Clinton Administration (I'm still hoping for Communications Director!!), but I might not have to spend a fortune sending daughter dear to college. (I'm urging her to consider Georgetown or American, given that they're in Washington, and when Hillary gets elected, I'll likely end up moving to DC. We can be roomies! Hmmm...what do you all think about a cute little townhouse in Georgetown?)

And as for Obama...well, most would agree he's inspiring. Yeah, sure, I'll give him that. If you think our process is corrupt and broken (which of course, it's not), then he's your man. Of course, most would agree, if you actually want to get anything done, or like me, you have a child going to college and you personally want to be White House Communications Director in a Clinton Administration, then he might lose you.

There are so many reasons Obama lost Pennsylvania that I can't possibly even list them all. I'm not trying to dismiss, stereotype or label Obama as elitist, out of touch, totally pretentious, pedantic, pompous, Muslim, cavorting with terrorists, hanging with America-hating ministers, or Snob-ama, as Michelle Malkin calls him. (I would never say any of those things, of course.)

But I will say that he is a hope monger. Seriously, all this talk about hope. Who has time for hope, when there are TV gigs to do, blog posts to write, and a woman to elect president? I find Hillary's promises to solve every problem -- even if most would agree that she has no intention whatsoever of doing so -- to be reassuring. And of course, I will vote based on who feels most reassuring, not based on the actual reality of a candidate or what can be accomplished. And, most would agree, so will the rest of the Democrats.

Most would agree that Obama seems frustrated, exasperated, aggravated, bothered, bugged, disturbed, irked, irritated, peeved, put out, riled, ruffled, and even some would say, vexed, about the ABC debate, and the gotcha media questions. Of course, most would agree that he has no right to be. The questions about flag pins (FlagPinGate, as I've so cleverly named it), are valid, and important to the nation.

Some of my liberal journalist friends got all riled up about the ABC debate questions, and sent a letter of protest to ABC news. (Nobody asked me to sign it, but then, they probably knew that I am so totally in the bag for Hillary, and that I'd even sent in my suggested list of questions to my media pals Charlie and George, and they used almost every one of them during that first hour! I am SO on my way to TV pundit fame and fortune!!)

But as usual, Obama's fans have hurt him. Frankly, just saying that you "support" Obama hurts him, because it's offensive to Hillary supporters. I don't know why Obama's overzealous supporters don't get that.

And then there's "WaffleGate." Seriously. There are important things going on the world, and he's ducking questions, eating a waffle. Hillary is out there ducking sniper fire, putting her life on the line, and he's ducking questions so he can eat a waffle. Bittergate, and FlagPinGate have put him on the ropes -- most would agree that WaffleGate will be the knockout punch.

Bottom line, I want to know which one of the candidates will give ME more money for my daughter's college, and which one will give ME a job in their administration. And I'm aware that my worries about Obama's campaign, my year of regular anti-Obama blog posts, my not-so-subtle attacks on everything Obama says and does, my commissioning of anti-Obama articles from everyone from Debra Dickerson to Rebecca Traister, and my fawning, laudatory posts about Hillary all make me seem like a Clinton voter. That's because I am.

-- Joan Walsh



2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nicely done. This is something I've been wondering myself for a while-- if Joan Walsh was angling for a job in the Clinton White House. If true, it almost makes me want to root for Clinton! Then maybe we can get David Talbott back as editor!!

Hill said...

BWAHHAHAHAAHAHA!

Good stuff.